There there, my father says to the crying baby he is rocking in his arms, it’s not easy being little is it? And for a minute I feel so jealous I can hardly breathe. My dad must’ve talked to me like that once, but he has a new family now and I’m staying in the guest room, nineteen and fresh out of what we are all calling a bad situation. I’m never going to let him see me cry, and he’s never going to wrap me in his arms and say there there. There’s only ever going to be this, the two of us staying up late watching TV and getting high because we have everything and nothing to say to each other so instead we keep watching reruns and passing the joint back and forth until his son wakes up and then it’s like I’m not there at all.
Sonja Larsen’s memoir Red Star Tattoo: My Life as a Girl Revolutionary (Random House Canada) won the Edna Staebler nonfiction award and was shortlisted for the Writers’ Trust Nonfiction Award. Her work has appeared in literary publications and anthologies in the U.S. and Canada. She lives in Vancouver, BC.
Image Credit: Flickr Creative Commons/Hernán Piñera
This made my heart well up with tears. Beautiful. Thank you.
This made my heart well up with tears. Beautiful. Thank you.
Wrenching and beautiful
I love this. Encapsulates and articulates the relationship beautifully.
Beautifully written. Poignant. Honest. I see you.
Such rich detail conveyed in so few words. Masterful and devastating.
Rip-my-heart-out gorgeous.